Greenland (see screen capture) is a gigantic island in the Arctic Ocean situated between Canada and Northern Europe (not the U.S. and Northern Europe as President Trump might have said). Its name has been around for centuries and stands as one of the largest con jobs ever tried in the real estate sector. It makes me smile every time I hear it. Greenland doesn’t need a new name.
Let’s start with some geographical details. Greenland’s area is 836K square miles. That’s around 27 percent of the size of the U.S. “lower 48” (3120K square miles). At 2968K square miles, Australia (Oceania) is the smallest of the seven continents, so Greenland is not large enough to be considered for continent status. That’s unfortunate because if Greenland were a continent, it would almost certainly be safe from renaming and I could quit right now. One more geographic fact: 100 percent of Greenland lies within the Arctic Circle.
Greenland has held onto its name for more than 1000 years. First discovered (or at least first explored) by Icelandic seafarers, the island was named in 982 AD by Erik the Red, who intentionally chose a name that would hopefully attract settlers to a land that’s harsh and mostly ice. How has that worked out? A millennium later, Greenland’s population stands at around 57,000, proving that clever marketing can’t trump (pun intended) real estate’s three most important principles related to buying and selling: location, location, location.
President Trump has been on a push lately to take over Greenland, not to sell real estate (his biggest skill) but because of its strategic importance. He’s talked about the rare-earth minerals, threats from Chinese and Russian shipping, national security, and the need for our military bases there to be secure. It isn’t clear if we would buy Greenland, annex it, take it by force, or negotiate a diplomatic solution, even if there isn’t one. Denmark, a NATO ally which administers Greenland as a territory, has continually said that Greenland is not for sale.
Following the economic summit in Davos last week, Trump has backed off from using force. There was too much pushback from Europe, NATO, Canada, demonstrators in Greenland, the news media, and Democrats, some Republicans, and a lot of independents who had been mostly focused on ICE raids. The president next blustered about retaliating against Europe with tariffs. That plan is also on the shelf even as he has announced that the framework for a deal is in place. Details are lacking.
So, what would happen if President Trump doesn’t let go of wanting to own Greenland, Denmark changes its mind, an agreement is reached, and Greenland becomes a U.S. territory? If so, I would not rule out a name change. Possibilities include the Northern Freedom Territory and the American Arctic Territory. Or true narcissism might win out. Can you say Trumpland?
After all, this is a president who believes strongly in rebranding and would like to leave a legacy that rivals that of Erik the Red. He’s already renamed two geographical features—the Gulf of Mexico and Mount Denali. Plus, a Board he appointed added his name to the Kennedy Performing Arts Center. It’s now the Donald J. Trump and John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts.
As I said at the start, I think Greenland already has a great name and doesn’t need a new one. Instead, I hope the Trump administration shifts its focus from acquiring the big island to working on our country’s more pressing needs.
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