Cows and Mattresses

The Mattress Ranch, which has two stores in Kitsap County, has been around for years. Until today though I didn’t know that the company is doing mobile marketing. That’s when I spotted their mascot, complete with the chain’s domain name, loaded on a trailer (see photo) at the south end of Silverdale. Although I can’t resist giant animal statues, the big bovine didn’t make me want to buy a mattress.

I get the connection between cows and ranches. If your store name ends in Ranch, a cow makes a trendy symbol to advertise your brand (sorry couldn’t resist). The Mattress Ranch store in Gorst has a herd of painted cow statuary out front. There are happy cows of all shapes and sizes. The message seems to be “pardner, this a great place to get a down-home deal.”

What eludes me is the leap from cows and ranches to cows and mattresses. Don’t cows sleep standing up? Common sleep similes end in “baby,” “log,” and, gruesomely, “the dead.” “Rock” works too. “Cow” doesn’t. About the only animal whose sleeping habits should be emulated is a bear, assuming you are into hibernating.

So maybe there is no direct connection to cows, and the Mattress Ranch just wants you to imagine what a great night’s sleep you get on a ranch. Try to picture it: quiet, fresh air, hard work, no stress, early to bed, up with the sun. And even better if the bunkhouse is outfitted with their mattresses. The cows are just accessories to make it a real ranch. You’ll probably sleep fine until the realities of running a ranch catch up with you.

I have only spent a couple of nights on a ranch. I was so tired from ridin’ fence and herdin’ cattle that I slept like a well … ranch hand. Actually I don’t remember how I slept and the closest I got to any horses and cattle was viewing them from an air-conditioned pick-up truck. This was in Texas in the summer. We went bass fishing, drank beer, looked for Comanche arrowheads, and hunted varmints at night (while drinking more beer). Sleeping wasn’t a concern.